I was thinking about posting a wrap-up story for quite a time. I jotted down here and there, but somehow I couldn’t get my head together. I guess it was mainly because I didn’t know where to begin.
Until this week…
Beginning of this week I have come across an article on Medium which begins with the paragraph below:
“Pain, discomfort, shock, boredom, impostor syndrome, awkwardness, fear, being wrong, failing, ignorance, looking stupid: your avoidance of these feelings is stopping you from a life beyond your wildest imagination. These are the feelings that accompany a life of success. And yet, these are the very feelings you relentlessly avoid!”
First of all I don’t think it is possible to avoid pain, discomfort,shock or fear on this planet, especially in this era and to be more precise, if you live in Turkey. These feelings are internal part of our DNA.
However, what makes a difference is your reaction to these negative feelings.
Even though it was an awful year for our country, I must admit that, for me it has been a year with far less stress.
Right after reading the article on Medium, I came up with this question:
Does my decision to try to live a rather “peaceful” life when surrounded by all the negativity drag me a bit more into my comfort zone?
Does progress in life really need to be hand in hand with an ongoing unrest and stress?
My life for the past several years has been quite intense; loss of my mom, university graduation, Masters dissertation, worklife and workload and the stress caused by them all, problems with my relationship and much more…
But then I realised something. If I hadn’t gone through those ten hard years, I wouldn’t have been where I am sitting right now. Those years have paved the way for me to find the answers to what I want from this unique life of mine?
That is why I don’t see this year as a loss or as a less successful one just because I did not feel intense stress or anxiety or shock etc. On the contrary, what I see is “there is always another way of living a life”.
Well, you may ask… What has really happened this year?
First of all, I’ve started listening to my inner voice more. I’ve talked to myself more, I’ve written more. Anything that comes to my mind… I did a plethora of lists, the small things that I feel grateful for in my life, things to see, listen or read, my dreams, short term plans, letters to friends, beloved ones, to do’s for work, notes for how to become a better version of myself, my will and much more…
I set up my own business. I have been part of international projects with social responsibility dimensions. I have attended and organised many conferences, panels and discussions. I had the chance to work with my friends. No matter what happened around, I found solace in keeping myself busy with what I think I am good at. And thankfully, my hardwork paid off.
I travelled a lot, with my family, with my friends and just on my own. I have been to places that I haven’t seen before. I also re-visited my favourite cities around the world.
I read so many books than ever before, watched lots of movies, went to concerts and discovered many new musicians.For the first time in my life, I made playlists. Plus, I went to a music festival abroad with a close friend of mine (one more item checked on my bucket-list).
This year, I have met so many new people. But more importantly, I have been more in touch with the old ones. I realised how much we matured and how those years changed the discourse and depth of our conversations. In the end, I have decided to surround myself with friends who take a more positive stance on life rather than constantly complain about almost anything.
I faced as many people as I can, with whom I had problems for several reasons. I apologised for what I thought I did wrong. But with some, I just listened. I forgot nothing, but I learned to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
I helped people around me. I have seen that just an idea that I give can become a huge inspiration for someone else . It’s all about sharing and contributing.
I re-decorated my living space. I got rid of the items, accessories, clothing that I don’t think I need. I have seen that having fewer possessions helped me become a bit more creative.
I have found a new hobby which then became my therapy: I started growing plants. Caring for plants showed me how one could passionately love anything rather than a human being. And I have seen how love can be reciprocated in different ways.
I have started practising Spanish again.
And finally, I have fallen in love. Yes, again… And once again with someone who is so far away. Love came when it was least expected -as always-. This person opened up the doors of a whole different new world for me, something that I haven’t seen or thought about before. I have no idea how long it would last, but this year my thoughts on getting married and bearing a child have been a bit upside down, too.
As you see, this year, unlike the past ten years before it, I have focused more on myself and my relations with the people around me.
Don’t get me wrong. What I say here should not sound like I don’t give a damn about what is going on around me. I definitely do, but I don’t make a big deal out of it. I just try to change my attitude towards the negativity.
Not everything I’d experienced during the year was all fun, of course.
I just realized that what is more important in life is to try to become whole by accepting all your flaws and baggage and feeling confident about your gifts.
No matter what happens around you, in your country or all around the world, keep looking for the “inner peace” to help you become “whole”.
I wish you all an amazing New Year !
I hope this new year brings more peace, prosperity and equality to us all !